OUR OWN MISTER ED

Ed was a classmate throughout our high school days. We never had a chance to get to know him too well, since he lived in the far yonder part of town. According to memory, he tended to keep to himself, not having much to say, even in response to the teachers up front.

There are, however, some unique features about this quiet and reserved lad. The first was his family setting. Reliable sources informed us that his father owned a good-sized piece of farm land, and in his spare time had sired seventeen children, mostly female, all occupying the same domicile. Ed had arrived second last among the brood.

The old man would haul the undergraduate portion of his flock to school in his truck each morning, then pick them up after classes had ended. As we understand it, he’d actually call the roll every afternoon, as an army platoon sergeant might, making sure the crew was complete.

Farming didn’t generate a whole lot of revenue in those days, and having to feed, clothe, and otherwise support a congregation that huge put wide gaps in the household budget. This was quite evident in certain cases. Every few weeks or so, Ed and his younger brother (Nos. 16 and 17 in respective sequence) would both show up at school with freshly cropped hair, and their father’s sugar bowl utilization couldn’t go unnoticed. Typically, only the outer edges would have been trimmed off, leaving the covered area untouched, and hence resembling an overgrown lawn.

During our final year, the coming graduation amenities required each senior to visit a designated photo studio for a class annual mug shot. This obviously called for a conventional suit to pose in, which was a luxury Ed’s parents couldn’t afford. He likely arranged to borrow the needed woolens from somewhere, since his youthful face did appear along with those of his class confederates.

In the post-graduation years, our paths crossed but once for a few brief casual words, no more. We have learned, though, how in due course our once sugar bowl-coiffed, tweedless Ed and his siblings inherited the farm land their father had long tilled, converting the area into a housing development.

For the past several decades, therefore, our Mr. Ed has enjoyed millionaire status, and we applaud his good fortune, especially in view of such a humble beginning. While residing in several foreign countries and meeting natives from numerous others, we’ve seen or learned about very few where similar opportunities are available to a kid growing up on the wrong side of the tracks.