A BRIEF EXERCISE IN MORBID CURIOSITY

Since our modern-day omnipresent, omniscient, and perhaps even omnipotent internet contains a lot or at least a little about everything and everybody, a casual browser is apt to stumble onto virtually any subject at times.

A somewhat significant aspect of life and its ultimate close which we happened to come across one rainy afternoon was suicide. Whereas the free Wikipedia library displayed a lengthy list of confirmed, suspected, and even forced by circumstance demises wrought via said route, our curiosity became sufficiently piqued to scroll through the alphabetized presentation. There were more than a few eyebrow-raising surprises.

Although an objective observer is often further tempted to probe the reasons why certain given individuals would choose such means for leaving our known universe, we consider this a far too depressing effort. Consequently, we chose not to click on any of the more famous names in order to seek added background. A person’s self-inflicted departure motivation should stand as his or her private business, even though we might dispute this course of action in principle.

The grim list includes a number of cases which prominently occupy the public domain, thanks to history and Shakespearean drama. Almost everyone with a modicum of education today knows about the suicidal means employed by Marcus Brutus, then later by his antagonist Marc Antony, and the second-named’s wife Cleopatra, who intentionally thrust her hand into a basket containing an asp (according to Liz Taylor’s portrayal, at least). Other renowned world figures Emperor Nero and military master Hannibal appear on the did-it-themselves roster, as does Socrates, the great philosopher, who (we presume) downed a mug of poison hemlock under forceful duress.

When Nazi Germany’s downfall had become apparent to all, master race ruler Adolf Hitler, his recent blushing bride Eva Braun, and Reichsmarshals Herman Göring and Heinrich Himmler followed selective suicidal routes in apparent despair over failed missions. Joining them were the despicable Josef Goebbels and his wife, who “graciously” took their several children along. With whatever human respect might be due, a collective “good riddance” comment should apply herein, except for the unduly martyred offspring.

Moving onward to other well-remembered members of the lost flock, we turn to the movie industry. Although many in our midst tend to view the tinseltown realm as one offering optimum fame and fortune rewards to a lucky population handful, manifold reasons evidently convinced certain bright-lighted or upcoming stars to the contrary. Well-established actors Charles Boyer, George Sanders, Walter Slezak, Gig Young, and Everett Sloan self-succumbed to depressing elements, along with Brian Keith, Scotty Beckett (from the Our Gang kids), Albert Salmi, Ross Alexander, actor-director Richard Quine, and director Woody Van Dyke. The same fate befell actresses Carole Landis, Rachel Roberts, Inger Stevens, Gia Scala, Jean Seberg, Lupe Velez, Thelma Todd, and John Barrymore’s daughter Diana.

Several prominent television performers followed suit, chiefly Britain’s top comedian Tony Hancock, Rusty Hamer from the Danny Thomas family show, and George Reeves, the first actor to play Superman (not to be confused to Christopher Reeve, who starred as the immigrant from the planet Krypton in the movie series). Others from said field were show host Dave Garroway and newscaster Don Hollenbeck.

Aside from Hancock, the comedy world similarly lost Doodles Weaver, whose vocal rendition of Fietelbaum once scored a cornball music hit with the Spike Jones City Slickers ensemble. Another such casualty was Paul McCullough, now an all-but-forgotten fur-coated member of a zany vaudeville and film short team with Bobby Clark.

We also noted the names of early jazz era bandleader Ben Pollack and latter-day saxophonist Albert Ayler, both widely known in the popular music world.

Dramatic and fiction writing gentry who left of their own accord were the revered Ernest Hemingway, plus other authors Hart Crane and William Inge, poet Vachel Lindsay, and playwright Virginia Woolf (whose reference in a subsequent Broadway hit rendered her even more famous than ever).

The world of sport is further represented by boxers Freddie Mills and Randy Turpin, one-time light heavy- and middleweight world champions respectively, ace Dodger relief pitcher Hugh Casey, and Cincinnati Reds’ reserve catcher Willard Herschberger. All-pro football offensive tackle Jim Tyrer shot his wife to death, then turned the weapon on himself.

Holding high or otherwise significant governmental positions didn’t deter a number of men from self-victimization. Brazilian President Getulio Vargas, U.S. Senators from California and Wisconsin respectively William Knowland and Robert LaFollette Jr., U.S. Defense Secretary James Forrestal, Clinton White House staffer Vincent Foster, and major British politico-military figure in Indian colonialism Robert Clive.

Although the rest of the list is quite lengthy in its entirety, the better known remaining individuals include modern psychiatry’s patron saint Sigmund Freud, roll film inventor George Eastman, World War I German flying ace and later daring aerial stunt performer Ernst Udet, and Al Capone’s top level henchman Frank Nitti.

Rather surprisingly, two of Bing Crosby’s four sons, Dennis and Lindsay, took their own lives voluntarily.

Another suicide affair, comparable to that foisted upon Socrates as mentioned earlier, found Germany’s World War II Field Marshal Erwin Rommel being forced to meet his fate by taking poison, under charges of conspiracy against the Fuhrer.

What’s that? Why haven’t we mentioned the self-hanging act carried out by Judas Iscariot, following his betrayal of Christ? It so happens that his suicide has never been “officially” confirmed, due to text conflicts noted in the Holy Scriptures. Similar uncertainties surround the demises of film goddess Marilyn Monroe, long-term war criminal/political prisoner Rudolf Hess, movie hero Alan Ladd, renowned 18th century U.S. territorial explorer Meriwether Lewis, adventure novelist Jack London, Russian composer Peter Ilyich Thaikovsky, Czech statesman Jan Masaryk, American political activist and demonstrator Abbie Hoffman, and actresses Romy Schneider and Pier Angeli. For rather obvious reasons, the pertinent facts don’t always happen to be that fully clear.

We close with an abject apology for delving into what really amounts to a gruesome topic. Nevertheless, when one’s curiosity is aroused by numerous surprises appearing among this unfortunate band of defeatists, the temptation to offer some appropriate commentary defies resistance.